What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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