i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
