I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize