i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
