I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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