im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
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therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
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Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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