i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
