i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize