What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
