One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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