Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize