My friends, they love my intelligence
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
sarcasm needs its own font
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
