The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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