And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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