just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
