My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
