Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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