I think i sorta joined a cult last night
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
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..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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