Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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