biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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