the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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