So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You smell like stripper and shame
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize