His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
