if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
