so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
