I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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