just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
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