Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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