Having a random hookup so left but love u
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
