He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize