The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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