Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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