Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Houston, we have a squirter
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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