shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
