It's like God shit irony all over that family
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
