so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
