And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
