btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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