So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
