I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
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If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize