the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
They are going to name an STD after you.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.