Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.