I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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