Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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