I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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