If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
