I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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