tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I have aggressive nipples.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
