I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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