I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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