Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
