who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
