hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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