i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize