you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
